My real name

Hi. My name is Casey. I am 21 and yeah. Here are a few normal everyday problems in my life. My family is the best thing in my life. A lot of people say that buy I really mean it. Although I don’t accept it or acknowledge it. They are always there for me and will help me at the drop of a hat but I don’t do the same. I’m not sure what exactly is wrong with me but I would do more for my friends then my own family. There is my first problem in my life at the moment. Here is the second but not the.major one. I’m currently lost in life. I’m not.sure what to do or where to go from here. I have great people surrounding me and trying to get me back on my feet but I hear there words and listen to what they are saying but I do nothing to act on them. I’m not sure why I do this but I just do whatever makes me happen for that moment. I waste my days away with sleep, videos, and the occasional party’s or bars. Yet I am broke and rely on other people to help me and my happiness and ignore what it does to them. Now for the main issue that cause all of this. Let me start with saying I never had the problems I have just talked about. I was in a job and making money to buy things for our happiness. Yes I said our. I was the happiest I have ever been from October 7th 2009 to June 26th 2012. I was in love and had something to live for and make happy. I had even planned on asking her to marry me. I know being 21 may seem young but I knew what I wanted in my life and it was her. I had only been with 3 girls before her but only one of them was actually a relationship. The other 2 were learning experiences. Getting back to the point. This girl was literally my everything in life. I know no girl should be so important in life but this one was. She was always there for me no matter what. We had been through everything and anything with each other. I have helped her in her life and she had helped me in mine. No words can really explain how much she ment to me but I will try. She was my ground. That’s the best I can put it. Before her I was lost. Doing what ever made me happy. The song that best describes me is Animal I Have Become by Three Days Grace. I know that there is a side of me that likes to fuck shit up i guess. Well she controlled me, in a good way, and helped me make smart choices. I was the sky and she was my ground to come home to. So now I have no ground and I just fall, fall into a darkness that seems to never end. That’s my life in a nut shell currently. Trust me its more intense and there are a lot more details to my story. But yeah that’s it for now. Get back to you all laters.